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Making And Keeping Friends
A Self-Help Guide
Introduction
People seem to have a natural need for friends and with good reason. Friends increase your enjoyment of life and relieve feelings of loneliness. They even can help reduce stress and improve your health. Having good friends is especially helpful when you are going through any kind of hard time: experiencing anxiety or panic attacks, depression, phobias or delusional thinking; living with a serious illness or disability; having major surgery; having a loss in your life; or just being under a lot of stress. At times like these, good friends and supporters can make all the difference.
When you are with good friends you feel good about yourself, and you are glad to be with them. A friend is someone who —
- you like, respect, and trust, and who likes, respects and trusts you
- doesn't always understand you, but accepts and likes you as you are, even as you grow and change
- allows you the space to change, grow, make decisions, and even make mistakes
- listens to you and share with you, both the good times and the bad times
- respects your need for confidentiality so you can tell them anything
- lets you freely express your feelings and emotions without judging, teasing, or criticizing
- gives you good advice when you want and ask fr it, assits you in taking action that will help you feel better, and works with you in difficult situations to figure out what to do next
- accepts your self-defined limitations and helps you to remove them
- lets you help them when they need it
- you want to be with, but you aren't obsessed about being with
- doesn't ever take advantage of you
A man in a focus group said, "Friendship is a continuing source of bonding, releasing, and creating in yourself and with the other person. There is an emotional bond."
A good friend or supporter may or may not be your age or the same sex as you; come from the same educational, cultural, or religious background; or share interests that are similar to yours. Friendships also have different depths; some are closer to the heart, some more superficial-but they're all useful and good.
Activity: List qualities you would like your friends, or some of your friends, to have.
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